Let's talk about something that I know many of you can relate to – being the 'black sheep' of the family. You know, that person who doesn't quite fit in, who's always a bit out of step with the rest of the flock. With the holiday season upon us, I thought it might be helpful to share some thoughts on navigating family gatherings when you're wearing that not-so-coveted black sheep badge.
First things first, let's acknowledge that it's tough. Really tough. Walking into a room full of people who are supposed to be your nearest and dearest, but feeling like you're from another planet – it's a special kind of uncomfortable. I've been there, done that, and got the emotional t-shirt to prove it.
Growing up with a narcissistic mother, I quickly learnt that I was different. My thoughts, feelings, and experiences didn't align with the family narrative. Sound familiar? It's like being in a play where everyone else has the script, and you're just improvising, trying to avoid stepping on any emotional landmines.
Yet, being the black sheep isn't a flaw. It's often a sign that you've broken free from toxic patterns, that you've chosen to heal and grow. It's uncomfortable, yes, but it's also incredibly brave.
So, how do we survive these gatherings without losing our minds (or our progress)?
1. Set clear boundaries: Decide beforehand what you're comfortable with. It's okay to limit your time or have an exit strategy.
2. Find your allies: There's usually at least one person who gets you. Stick close to them.
3. Practice self-care: Before, during, and after. These events can be draining, so make sure you're taking care of yourself.
4. Remember, it's not about you: Their judgments and criticisms often say more about them than about you.
5. Stay true to yourself: Don't compromise your values or identity to fit in. Your authenticity is your superpower.
6. Have a support system outside: Make sure you have friends or a therapist to talk to afterward.
7. It's okay to say no: If attending is too damaging to your mental health, it's okay to skip it.
Remember, you're not alone in this. So many of us are out there, feeling like we don't quite fit with our families, but here's a little secret – some of the most interesting, compassionate, and authentic people I know are black sheep.
So, to all my fellow black sheep out there – I see you. I understand the courage it takes to show up as your true self in spaces that aren't always welcoming. You're doing great, and I'm proud of you.
Stay strong, keep healing, and remember – sometimes it's the black sheep that leads the way to greener pastures.
With love and healing,
Kylie B
Comments