Today, I want to share something more personal with you. It's a story about a little girl who found herself on the child protection register for neglect because her mother hardly sent her to school. That little girl was me. It's not easy to talk about, but I believe that by sharing our stories, we can help others feel less alone and maybe even find the strength to start their own healing journey.
Growing up, I felt invisible, unimportant, and utterly alone. If you've been raised by a narcissistic parent, I bet those feelings resonate with you too. It wasn't just about missing school; it was about the constant emotional neglect that shaped my entire childhood. Every day felt like a battle for survival, not just physically, but emotionally and mentally too.
Remember that feeling of tiptoeing around the house, trying not to make a sound? That was my everyday reality. I learnt to read my mother's moods like a weathervane, adjusting my behaviour to avoid her storms of rage or indifference. It was exhausting, but it was survival. I became an expert at predicting her moods, at knowing when to make myself scarce and when it was safe to seek attention. This hypervigilance became second nature, a skill that protected me then but has taken years to unlearn.
I spent countless hours trying to please her, hoping for just a crumb of affection or recognition. It was like chasing a mirage in the desert - always out of reach, leaving me parched and desperate for more. I'd do anything for a kind word, a loving touch, or even just a moment of genuine interest in my life. But no matter how hard I tried, it was never enough. The goalposts were always moving, and I was left feeling worthless and unlovable.
In my house, my mother always preferred the boys. It created a weird dynamic between us siblings. Sometimes we were allies against her chaos, other times we were competitors for her fleeting attention. It's a dance I'm still untangling in my adult relationships. This favouritism didn't just affect my relationship with my mother; it seeped into every aspect of my family life, creating rifts and resentments that have taken years to heal.
Here's the thing about growing up with a narcissist: at some point, you have to choose between surviving and thriving. For me, that choice came when I realised I was worth more than the scraps of affection I'd been fighting for. It wasn't an easy realisation, and it didn't happen overnight. It took years of self-reflection, and painful confrontations with my past.
I stopped entertaining things that were draining me. I set boundaries. I prioritised my mental health. And you know what? It was hard as hell, but it was worth it. Learning to say "no," to stand up for myself, to believe that I deserved better - these were all revolutionary acts for someone who had been conditioned to always put others first.
Writing "The Narcissist's Daughter" was my way of turning my pain into purpose. I wanted to create a roadmap for others navigating the complexities of toxic relationships. Because here's what I've learnt: healing isn't about never having breakdowns. It's about how quickly you can get back up afterward. It's about building resilience, finding your voice, and learning to trust yourself again.
To that little girl on the child protection register, and to all of you out there who see yourselves in my story, you are seen. You are worthy. And you have the strength to rewrite your story. I know it feels impossible sometimes. I know the weight of the past can feel crushing. But I promise you, there is light at the end of this tunnel.
Our past doesn't define us. It's the choices we make today that shape our tomorrow. So choose you. Choose healing. Choose thriving. It won't be easy, and there will be days when you want to give up. But keep going. You're stronger than you know, and you deserve a life filled with love, respect, and joy.
Remember, you're not alone in this journey. We're in this together, and there's hope on the other side of the pain. Keep pushing forward, keep healing, and never forget your worth. You are not the sum of what happened to you. You are so much more than that.
If you're reading this and feeling overwhelmed, take a deep breath. Start small. Maybe it's journaling, or finding a support group, or just allowing yourself to feel angry about what happened to you. Whatever it is, take that first step. And then another. And another. Before you know it, you'll be on your way to reclaiming your life and your happiness.
For those of you interested in knowing more about my story, you can purchase my book here
And for those of you interested in learning about my healing journey, please check out my course Awaken The Phoenix
With love, solidarity, and unwavering belief in your strength,
Kylie B
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