Finding Your Voice: Overcoming the Silence of Childhood Trauma
- Jan 29
- 2 min read
As someone who grew up with a covert narcissist mother, I know firsthand how challenging this journey can be.
When I think back to my childhood, words like "heartless," "evil," and "narcissistic" come to mind when I think of my mother. It's not something I always thought, but as I grew older and began to understand the dynamics of our relationship, I realised just how toxic it was.
Growing up in this environment, I learnt early on that my voice didn't matter. I was conditioned to believe that only certain voices were important, and mine definitely wasn't one of them. This silencing effect is common among children of narcissistic parents, and it can persist long into adulthood if not addressed.
I remember a specific incident in primary school that illustrates how deeply ingrained this silence was. There was a dinner lady who reminded me of my mother - stern and intimidating. One day, I desperately needed to use the bathroom, but she wouldn't let me go. Because I was so used to not speaking up, I didn't argue. Instead, I soiled myself and spent the rest of the day in my soiled pants, too scared to tell anyone. When I got home, I disposed of the pants because I was terrified of getting in trouble with my mother.
This experience, among many others, taught me to suppress my needs and emotions. But here's the thing - reclaiming your voice is absolutely crucial for healing. It's not easy, but it's so worth it. Here are some strategies that have helped me along the way:
1. Acknowledge and validate your experiences
2. Build a supportive network
3. Practice self-compassion
4. Seek professional help
5. Explore creative outlets for self-expression
Remember, healing isn't linear. There will be good days and bad days. When I was younger, I used to close my eyes and imagine a different life - being a princess in a big castle, surrounded by love and happiness. It was my way of escaping reality. Now, I understand that those fantasies were a coping mechanism, and that's okay.
To support your healing journey, I've created a journal specifically designed for survivors of childhood trauma. You can find it here. This journal offers prompts and exercises to help you explore your experiences, process your emotions, and gradually reclaim your voice.
Finding your voice after childhood trauma is a process of self-discovery and healing. It's about reclaiming the power that was taken from you and learning to express your authentic self. I won't lie - it's challenging. But I promise you, it's worth it. You deserve to be heard, to be valued, and to live a life free from the shadows of your past.
Remember, you're not alone in this. We're in this together, and I believe in you. Your voice matters, and it's time for it to be heard.
